The majority of communication is nonverbal. And on a date that doesn’t always come easy. You may even feel confused on what to talk about or what nonverbal gestures to give. (Especially if it’s the first date). So yes your words matter, but what also matters is your body language.
Here are 7 Nonverbal Gestures People Get Wrong on Dates:
1. Make sure to sit 100% facing the person
Subconsciously you may be facing slightly away. This is a normal nonverbal response due to nerves. One of my clients has noted that when she feels anxious she tends to square her shoulders in a different angle from her date. If you sit with your shoulders squared facing your date you are communicating that you are confident and listening.
2. Get off your damn phone
I’m not just talking about texting. Anything from checking your phone to looking down when it lights up creates a huge distraction for you and your date. This is a great way to interrupt the conversation. We tend to think of interrupting as cutting someone off, but in this case, you are taking your body language away from your date and placing it on your phone. This can come off that you do not listen which can be interpreted by your date that you’re rude.
3. Don’t fidget
When you’re nervous on a date, a nonverbal default can be fidgeting with your clothes, necklace or hair. One of my clients described it as if she needed to let her nervous energy out somewhere. When you fidget it may come off that you don’t feel comfortable on your date. As a result, your date will pick up on that and this could hinder a true connection.
4. Don’t look around
When you first meet up with your date and greet them make sure to look at them directly in the eyes. Why? Well, you know that feeling when you’re in a grocery store and lock eyes with a cute person and get instant butterflies? Same goes for your date. This is your first opportunity to establish a strong connection right away. Now, this is not to say that you can’t establish one later but it opens the door for opportunity.
5. Step toward your date
If you want to get more intimate then step closer to your date. Be mindful of their body language. If they are closed off a bit or turn away slightly that shows they are not interested with you in their personal space. Naturally, you can feel out a goodbye kiss this way. If you step in and your date’s body language is receptive then you will know your date’s interested.
6. Cross your leg in their direction
Cross your leg in the direction of your date. If that is confusing think about it like your toe should always be facing your date. When you cross your leg in the opposite direction you are nonverbally turning away from the conversation.
7. Uncross your arms
Crossing arms creates a major nonverbal barrier. So if you’re not digging your date then, by all means, this is a great way to show you are not interested. Although if you are, then uncrossing your arms creates an openness for yourself and conversation to flow naturally.
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