You may wonder when the “right” time is to start dating after a breakup.
Top 10 things to check in with yourself before getting back in the dating game:
1. You no longer text or call your ex
Time spent not communicating with your ex can be truly healing. Texting on impulse to get revenge or because we are lonely can cause more harm than good. Our feelings always pass. When we sit with discomfort we can learn to accept ourselves without judgment.
2. You stop checking their social media
Let’s be honest I don’t know many people out there who don’t do an occasionally social media check in on an ex (I am Guilty!). If checking in via social media becomes routine then it is time to ask yourself the tough questions. What is it you are trying to fill within by checking in on them? It’s ok to miss someone but make sure your focus is on your needs first.
3. You do not feel compelled to go on a revenge date
The fantasy of running into your ex on a date with a hottie is too fun! Although it may be fun to think about, but this other person has nothing to do with your break up. If you feel tempted to do this check in with your thoughts and feelings.
4. You are content with your own company
Ask yourself, are you ok doing things solo? Spending quality time alone is a great way to discover the things you like about yourself. This helps build a stronger relationship within.
5. You love yourself within
Easier said than done at times. No one but you can fill yourself with love. Be mindful that your love comes first and it’s important to have that connection with your inner self. No one should get in the way of the love you have for you.
6. You stop thinking about what your ex is doing
Moment of clarity is when you look up at your bestie and say, “I don’t think about him anymore”. This is so gratifying. Of course you might have moments of thinking of him. If your mind is still running around in circles find a positive hobby like yoga.
7. You practice self-care
Meet your own damn needs! Check in with yourself and make sure you have treated yourself to a massage or facial. This self-appreciation goes a long way and enables you to care for others.
8. You feel confident in choosing the right person
Trusting in your gut and following that is key. Align yourself with the characteristics you want in a partner. If they don’t fit then be ok to walk away without doubting your intuition.
9. You don’t see dating as a game
There is no winning or losing in dating. Setting up “rules” actually sets up our expectations for disappointments. It’s important to hold true to your values and go with your gut.
10. You know that you’re a badass
You have got this far in life you can keep it up my friend! Dating is not a game. There are no rules except the ones you allow for your own happiness.