Do you find yourself with a different partner but the same terrible relationship problems? Well, it could be codependency.
First off let’s get one thing straight. You’re not alone. I used to find myself in toxic relationships. I would find partners that had a lot of internal issues they never dealt with and it affected our relationship, like bad.
But there was one very important common factor in it all. Me! I did not fully love myself so I picked partners who did not love themselves either. Recipe for dysfunction, I know!
I gained awareness that codependency was a choice and not just bad luck with men. From there I learned to love myself and pick healthy relationships.
The most powerful thing you can do is recognize the signs of codependency. So take a deep breath. You’re not crazy and you sure as hell aren’t hopeless. Here are 6 Signs Your Relationship is Codependent:
Feeling that you need to fix the relationship
You may feel like your relationship is completely broken. You find yourself taking on the burden to make things right. Every fight or argument feels like it’s on the same cycle. You feel responsible to make the problems of the relationship vanish. After each time you make up with your partner you feel hopeful it will change.
Having to take care of your partner
It’s healthy to take care of your partner until boundaries are crossed. You may feel the need to manage their finances, health, mental wellness, addiction, etc. because they struggle to do it themselves. As a result, you neglect your own self-care.
You’re hopeful your partner will change
You’ve had countless discussions of expressing your concern for your partner’s destructive or concerning behavior. You know deep inside it feels off. Yet each time there is a moment where your partner expresses they will change or take care of the issue you feel the problem has been fixed.
If your partner is happy then you are happy
It’s normal to have empathy in a relationship. But the lines get crossed when your own happiness depends on your partner’s happiness. You may feel like you are walking on eggshells. You don’t want to upset your partner because then it could ruin the entire day.
You’re getting very little from your partner but giving a lot to them
Ask yourself, “What am I getting out of this relationship?” You go above and beyond while supporting them emotionally. Your partner is unable to give you the same amount of emotional support. They may even completely neglect it. You might find yourself coming up with excuses as to why they need more care.
You worry about your partner and check up on them often
It’s natural to have concerns for your partner. It’s not healthy to obsess and follow up constantly to see if your partner is ok, even if they are going through a difficult time. You might find yourself texting them not to say hello but to make sure they are safe and ok.
If you notice that any of these resonates it’s a huge first step! Why? Because you have the power of awareness now!
Want to gain clarity around codependency? Learn more!