Ways to be more vulnerable: Wonder why you feel disconnected from your partner or a pattern of this on dates? It may have to do with vulnerability.
What is vulnerability
Some people think of vulnerability as a weakness but it is actually the exact opposite. Being vulnerable can create serious discomfort but it is necessary for connection in our intimate relationships.
As the amazing Brene Brown puts it, “We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” So when we numb our emotions of sadness to protect ourselves from feeling hurt we ultimately numb our emotions of joy and happiness which are essential in intimate relationships.
The idea of being completely vulnerable toward a partner and in a relationship is key. But how does one go about leaning into the vulnerability? Work on your own vulnerability and then apply it to your relationship.
Know you are enough
Regardless of the end result, you must feel worthy inside to know that whatever response you receive is not about being enough. Brené Brown said more wonderful stuff, “the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging.” If you can practice your sense of worth an belonging then it will shine into your vulnerability.
Ask for help
“Yeah, I got it no worries” but inside you’re feeling confused and lost. Sound familiar? It is ok to ask for help and you don’t have to wait until things get desperate. You can put down the perfection shield and allow yourself to ask for assistance. When you are having a stressful week and asking your partner for help with extra things around the house can be vulnerable but necessary for connection.
Speak your truth
Being authentic can feel hard. It’s like that voice that is whispering inside of you to speak up and share your intimate feelings but you push it away. It is important to practice sharing intimate feelings with someone. This can be from addressing your needs or telling someone you love them first. It is ok to feel totally awkward doing it because ultimately you will experience stronger connection through it.
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